God and Dee Snider

Hello again. It's been a year and a half since my last post. I've had quite some distraction from writing during that time.
I can't and won't go into all the details, but the reason for my long absence is that I went through a very painful divorce. It was not something that I wanted nor even thought was going to happen, but it did. Of all the hurtful and painful things I have experienced in my life, this was the most devastating.
Mainly I guess, because of my two precious baby girls. Having to leave them with the knowledge that I wouldn't be there to see them everyday nearly killed me, literally.
My ex-wife and I are both to blame. I wouldn't know how to explain it other than we never got on the same page with each other. Anyway, as I said, I can't nor will go into all the details. Just know that divorce in any aspect is a horrid, devastating thing.
Now, on to what I want to say. Having gone through the most darkest time in my life, I surely would not be writing this now if not for God.
I screamed at Him and cursed at Him for not stopping the divorce from happening. I wanted to walk away from everything. I didn't want to walk away from God, because I new if I did that, I would always know I was wrong and I was afraid of actually walking too far. I was however walking away from ministry and even church. I had not yet physically left church, but it would have come. The things that saved me, I believe, were men of WOC-FUEL. The men's ministry of my church, my friends and my brothers. Their strong words, their soft words, their listening ears and their crying eyes. Most of all their prayers. I believe God had actually set me up. He wasn't surprised by the divorce as I was. He knew it was coming and He surrounded me with people who cared and loved me. He also had my family, my brother and my sister. My siblings and I became closer than we had ever been and for that I am thankful.
Through this all I wanted was for it to be over and me to be over it and happy again. No such luck. God has His plans and His purposes and He knows what they are better than we do and is not predisposed to tell us at all. That's why it's called faith. My faith had been wounded and until I made the decision to put my trust (faith) back in Him, I wasn't going anywhere but deeper and darker.
I am also a believer that God can use whatever or whomever He can or wants to and that whatever or whomever doesn't need the worlds (the Christian world) stamp of approval to do so. God had put in me a deep sense of faith. I said it was wounded not destroyed. Nothing can destroy your faith in God but you. Through out the whole thing I knew God was the only one who could bring me out of it.
Not being involved with ministry so much, I was allowing myself some much needed enjoyments such as reading books that I was interested in. One of these books was an memoir by heavy metal legend Dee Snider. He is the lead singer for the band Twisted Sister.
When I entered high school, I was sorta taken in by the local metal heads. With this group I felt I fit in and heavy metal became my style of music. One of the guys gave me my first copies of some heavy metal music and one of those was Twisted Sister, so I have been a pseudo fan ever since.
Dee Snider's memoir was truly inspirational. He gives his account of going after his dream of being a rock star and the years of failures and struggles it took to make it to the apex of that dream and then the decent into losing everything he had worked for, yet never stopping or never giving up. In a way, I could relate his story to my life. I already had this deep sense of not giving up (despite wanting to and even actually doing it to an extent) and reading Dee Snider's book helped sharpen that and strengthen that in a way no one else could.
Here's what I think you need to know from that. God can use anyone or anything. You have be discerning and God seeking to know what or who he is using and who he is not.
As I said, I knew God was and is the only person who could see me totally through this hell and He is the only one who can see you totally through whatever you may be facing. My path was with God and Dee Snider.

In Christ,
Kevin