I would guess that almost everyone who is either on Myspace or Facebook has friends or friends of friends who have listed their relationship status as "it's complicated". Usually when someone states that their relationship status is complicated, they are saying that they are separated or are divorced. It's always a little sad and disheartening when I see that status on someone I know and who's relationship status did read "married".
The question is, how did your relationship become complicated? And if it wasn't complicated before, what was it? I understand that over the last three to four decades, marriage relationships have become less and less meaningful. Marriage vows and covenants are no longer binding. I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone who reads this and may be divorced or going through a tough time in marriage, but lets be real. My parents have been married now for fifty two years. That is half a century. I know my parents aren't the only ones who are still married after a half century together, but my point is that if we were to take a poll of people who have been married for at least that long and people who have been married for maybe ten years or less and asked if they thought they would be married that long of a time, the ones who have been married longer would have have a different answer than the ones who have only been married a few years.
I have often wondered about people who have gotten divorced. Sometimes I want to ask, why did you get married in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I do understand the answer to that question, and I also understand many different reasons why people get divorced. I agree with some reasons. I also understand that God never meant for it to be that way.
" Therefore shall a man leave his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
Genesis 2:24
September 1st of this year my wife and I will have been married for nine years. Let me tell you, it's complicated. My wife and I didn't have a normal meet, date, fall in love, get married relationship. It's complicated. I began to discover in the first year or so of our marriage, that marriage is nothing that I thought it would be, nor is it anything I feared it would be. It's complicated. I have issues that my wife has to deal with and there are things about me that annoy her sometimes. It's complicated. My wife has some issues ( sorry honey ) and sometimes she does things that irritate me. It's complicated. We have have been through rough patches in our relationship and are still trying to figure each other out. It's complicated. We don't know all there is to know about life, about marriage, or about each other. It's complicated. We have both uttered the D word. It's complicated. While we both probably wish we could change some things about each other, we also see the need to change some things about ourselves. It's complicated.
I will be honest. I believe some marriages become "complicated", because of selfish reasons with either the husband or wife. I believe some relationships were "complicated" before marriage ever took place. Satan has sought to destroy anything and everything that God has established as pure and holy. Think about it, when two people come together, they bring into contact lots of people who may or may not have ever known each other. When or if they have children who then become connected with two whole families. When that marriage is destroyed, all of those people in some form are touched by it just as they are touched by the marriage. Whether with the mere knowledge of the divorce or much more involved, a life has been touched and altered.
So what is the solution? Learn.
Learn that life and relationships are complicated. Learn that marriage is complicated. Learn that no matter how complicated it is or has become, God can and will show us how to figure it out. Learn not to just pick up the pieces when things get broken, but learn to put the pieces back together and make it stronger or if need be, learn to make something new and better. When we learn that things are complicated, we can learn why they are complicated. When we learn why they are complicated, we can learn to make them less complicated.
Relationship Status: A Little Less Complicated.
In Christ,
Kevin
